Before you complain about my language, know that DRAG ME TO HELL is a movie.  But not just any movie.  Director Sam Raimi is back with a horror film, the genre that put him on the map.  Okay, maybe I’m only speaking to the movie geeks like myself, but the man who gave us EVIL DEAD and EVIL DEAD 2 has returned to his roots, and I couldn’t be happier.  Honestly, horror films are not my favorite type of film, but a Raimi flick puts the fun back into a genre that these days seems to be more about gratuitous violence than anything else.  So, yeah- big popcorn, Rasinets and the hopes of being delightfully disgusted is definitely on tap for the weekend.  Oh, and there’s a new Disney/Pixar movie out there too.  Whatever.

     This will be a Memorial day Weekend to remember!  I have no one I have to see and no place that I have to go.  That, my friends is the best kind of weekend to have.  Now, I know I’m probably in denial to some extent.  I don’t really believe for a minute that I’ll be able to spend the entire weekend knee deep in books I haven’t gotten to.  Nor do I envision a weekend that has me at my local multiplex watching 3 movies back-to-back.  That world no longer exists.  Because grass grows, friends call, TARGET has sales, and significant others come up with “great ideas.”  But still, as of now…the weekend is still open for interpretation and a man can dream, can’t he?

Ah, the transition from Spring to Summer.  As baseball goes into it’s full swing and basketball and hockey wind up their seasons, my sporting life makes a transition as well.  Last night was the last official poker game of the season at my house.  The Monday night tradition has been intact for close to 15 years and it will continue, but a short break is necessary to make room for Monday Night Bocci at The Columbus Italian Club.  I know what you’re thinking- how do I make the smooth move from one athletic endeavor to another?  I’m just gifted that way, I guess.  Staring on June 1st, I’ll go from a table of eight to a team of 4. I’ll switch from cards to balls but the desire to win will be just as important, just as challenging and just as psychologically taxing.  I’m also a captain this year.  It’s up to me to draft a winning team this year that possesses the skill to roll a ball in one hand and eat a sauasage sandwich in the other.  The matches will be heated and competitive, spirited and controversial.  The beer will be cold, and the sandwiches will be spicy.  The arguments will be plentiful.  Insulting comments will abound.  New friendships will be forged.  Old friendships will be tested.  And before it’s all said and done someone (the winning team) will get a lovely, shiny plaque to hang next to all of those other accomplishments that don’t much matter in the larger scheme of life.  It’s BOCCI TIME!  Time to bring your balls and play!

It was humilating.  Demeaning.  Insulting.  And absolutely hilarious! For my 50th birthday, my friends (and I use that term loosely) put together a Birthday Roast at The Funny Bone At Easton.  The buddies- who are also known as The Monday Night Poker Guys- spared no expense to embarass, ridicule and tear away at anything that resembled an accomplishment in my life.  The night consisted of video tributes from comics I’ve worked with in the past, live “roasting” from a hilarious panel of comedian friends and the icing on the tainted cake- the The Infamous Poker Boys Video which was shot in my absence- in my home!  And when I say they spared no expense, I also mean that literally.  A two-camera shoot from OZONE VIDEO captured the night’s festivities and will soon be available for purchase on DVD, with the proceeds going to The Columbus Dog Connection.  Two versions will be available.  An edited “SUNNY” version and an unedited version which we’ll call the “CLOUDY” version.  Either way, this one ain’t for the kids. But if you want to see the LOVE, the DRAMA, the ABSURDITY, then go to http://roastofdino.com and put yourself down for a pre-order.  As mentioned, the proceeds go to a great charity, The Columbus Dog Connection.  Just consider it one old dog, helping some other dogs.

Is it wrong to not like Adam Lambert from American Idol because he wears more mascara than your girlfriend…Is it wrong to eat a large double cheese pizza while watching The Biggest Loser finale…Is it wrong to criticize performers on Dancing With The Stars when the last dance you actually participated in was The Hustle…Is it wrong to realize that The Real Housewives of New York City are some of the most unreal women you’ve ever seen on television…Is it wrong to want to be on The Amazing Race just for the frequent flyer miles…Is it wrong that the last advice you took from a doctor was Dr. Phil…Is it wrong to have friends that have been on COPS…Is it wrong to take your girlfriend’s COSMO and change her man-quiz answers…Is it wrong to secretly DVR the CW’s GOSSIP GIRL and then try to defend yourself by saying you thought it was the new Bevery Hills 90210.  See what happens when you blog with no filter? What’s on your mind?Hopefully more than mine.

Yeah, I’m writing about swine flu again.  Now the CDC is saying that we may have over-reacted a bit.  Really?  So, all of those CINCO DE MAYO celebrations across the country didn’t really need to be cancelled?  So, when someone coughed into my magarita yesterday, I didn’t have to panic?  I could’ve been content with just being disgusted?  When I enjoyed my chirizo sausage breakfast after the show, I didn’t have to feel like I was tempting fate over consuming a pork product?  When I threw back a handful of tequila shooters, I didn’t have to worry abouth whether or not the guy who bottled it in Mexico was symptomatic?  Well, than let me just say, “OLE, AMIGOS!”  My CINCO DE MAYO was celebrated with none of these fears.  I’m having a bigger problem with allergies than I am swine flu.  Truth be told, the only part of the festivities that concerned me yesterday was the MAYO.  I think I got some bad Hellman’s on a turkey sandwich I ate earlier that afternoon.  Can I get swine flu from that?