I love my radio gig, but still very near and dear to my performing heart is the stand-up comedy.  Thats how I got this job.  I was a comic who would visit the show on a regular basis and then one day they asked if I wanted to work here.  I thought it would last a year- tops.  15 years later, I’m still here, but still doing stand-up, too.  Last night was a blast at the club.  I feel great when I do a good radio show, but I can’t SEE you people.  Do great at the club and you can see the impact you made.  It’s pretty cool, and still after 20 years of doing it I still get those pre-show butterflies.  Weird, right?  What about you?  How do you feel when you have to stand and deliver in public?

     I have a beautiful backyard with a lovely gazebo with seating and a cocktail making area, and a grill that hasn’t been fired up once yet this summer season.  No cocktails were made either.  So sad.  August is just around the corner and it doesn’t look like I’ll find time in that month either.  Hopefully, I can make up for it all with Brats and Buckeye football.  How about you?  Did the summer fly by for you too?

     Getting grief from my co-host about not being a romantic because I “mock” THE BACHELORETTE and all shows like it.  If the hookups had a better track record of success then maybe I wouldn’t make such fun, but c’mon…”Our lives have been exposed and edited for network television and just  yesterday I was cavorting with another guy that I thought I loved, but now that I’m all wrapped up there and have sent him packin’, I have no doubt that I absolutely, without question, love YOU.  Or at least until the reunion show and I milk the talk show circuit.”  Yeah.  Okay.  I’M the cynic.  Your thoughts, please.

Had a great time performing at Popcorn Pops Friday night. The kids were great, the orchestra was in fine form and I thoroughly enjoyed playing Chef BoyarDINO for The Symphonic Stew. I also have new found respect THE WIGGLES. Performing non-stop for kids is exhausting work, but very rewarding. I would do that show again in a minute. If anyone went, I hope you enjoyed seeing it as much as I enjoyed doing it.

     The other day someone asked me if I actually “learned” anything from my parents.  After I thought about it for a minute, I’d have to say that I have.  From my mom came the lessons.  From my father came more moments of “quotable wisdom.”

     FROM MOM:  In moments of strife always try to “take the high road”.  Let the adversity and pettiness fall on the other person.  It’s hard to turn the other cheek sometimes, but mom still believes that if you can, you’ll be better for it in the long run.  “Always be a gentleman” is another one of her rules that she still reminds me to do.  Lead with manners and good impressions will follow.  I know…simple stuff, but upon reflection so true when applied to everyday life.

     FROM DAD:  My parents divorced when I was young.  My time with my father was limited.  He passed away a couple of years ago, and our conversations over the years were more like lessons in abstract philosophy than actual “chats”.  He spoke and I listened, and often chuckled.  Here’s some of my faves:  “Two idiots are better than one because if neither can help with the task at hand, you at least have someone to go eat with.”  Also from the twice divorced man:  “Women are like the flu.  Easy to catch, but sometimes very difficult to get rid of.”  Yeah, I know…not very nice, but coming from a 70 year old man who had been through his fair share of romantic entanglements and was still trying to figure women out- kind of funny.

     I can only hope that I’ve left some influence behind that MY daughter follows and adheres to in life.  You know…something better than “There’s no bad place to sleep when you’re drunk.”  What have you learned from YOUR parents?

There’s a new device out there for men to help them shave their chest hair with ease. Or their legs, or armpits, or anything else that actually distingishes their skin from a woman’s. Pass. God gave me chest hair. I’m keeping it. Am I thrilled that it has some gray in it? No, but such is life. I’m fortunate that I don’t have hair on my back, but I do have hairy legs that won’t see a blade, razor or NAIR FOR MEN anytime soon. You know why? Because I’M A MAN! And unless I decide to become an Olympic swimmer in my 50’s, I don’t see anything other than my face getting shaved on a regular basis. Thoughts?

     Great turnout last night at the Franklin Park Conservatory for another Sunny 95 Girls Night Out.  Very nice meeting all 1000 of you!  Pardon me if I don’t remember all your names.  In regards to my early deaprture from the event?  Well, Monday is also Bocce League Night at the Columbus Italian Club, and I felt it was my responsibility to try and be present at both gatherings.  In hindsight, I probably could’ve stayed at G.N.O.  We lost both games.  I think it’s because I had to play in the sports jacket I wore last night at the Conservatory.  I arrived back the club just in time to start rolling balls so there was no time for a change of clothes.  At least, I was best dressed loser at bocce.

40 years ago, history was made. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin became the first men to walk on the moon. Astronaut Michael Collins was also on that mission, but I guess someone had to keep the engine running, so he didn’t get to make any of those historic steps. Here’s my version on how that moment went.
“Wow. The moon. We’re finally here. Can’t wait to get on that surface.”
“Uh, yeah about that. It’s gonna be me and Buzz.
“Yeah, I know. You guys first and then you come back and I get to go, right?”
“Uh, no. Not enough time or fuel to make that happen.”
“But that’s not what they said before we blasted off.”
“Yeah…we lied. Neither of us wanted to drive, so we let you think you would get your shot on the moon to make sure you would come along.”
“This is total B.S.”
“I know buddy, but honestly…it wasn’t that great.”
“You’re just sayin’ that to make me feel better.”
“No, I swear. Ask Buzz. Buzz…walkin’ on the moon. A big deal?
“Nah. Not really. Though watching Neil mess up his big line was cool.”
“I didn’t mess up. I was caught up in the emotion of the moment.”
“Aha! So it WAS cool! I knew it. So, now what?”
“Uh, you can have this cool rock I brought back.”
“Yeah, and this- NEIL AND BUZZ WALKED ON THE MOON AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT.”
“Great. Thanks. Houston, we SO have a problem.”

     Earlier this week I blogged about how nice it was to sleep like a normal person while on vacation.  Apparently it wasn’t enough.  Just three days in from being back, I find myself just as tired and on the verge of exhaustion as I was before I left.  A week just doesn’t cut it anymore.  We need two weeks so you can have a vacation from vacation.  Then I think one can come back to their vocation refreshed and ready to go.  Oh, but wait.  That week might be spent doing stuff around the house that you never have time to do and that proposition sounds tiring, too.  Okay…three weeks then: vacation, vacation from vacation and then a week off for what was supposed to be the week after vacation.  There.  That should cover it.  Hmm…looks suspiciously like unemployment.

I’ve seen Billy Joel and Elton John separately in concert. Last night was the first time I saw them together. Glad I did. Two amazing songwriters and performers with music that still stands the test of time. It also reminded me of other performers I’ve yet to see in concert. It actually made me think of Michael jackson and how cool it would’ve been to see him. Stevie Wonder is also on the list. I saw Sinatra before he died. Lou Rawls was on the list too. Saw him before he passed and actually had the chance to meet him afterwards. I also spilled a drink on him, which he simply responded afterwards with, “It’s cool.” It was. So was last night.